I read a blog the other day and wanted to share it with you friends, mainly because of how it is exactly what I had wanted to write about this week but thought this would be sufficient! :)
“True Love Waits.” Waits.
What’s it “waiting” for, anyway?
There are a lot of girls out there who don’t know who God is anymore – the God of their youth group years just isn’t working out. Back then, that God said to wait for sex until they are married, until He brings the right man along for a husband. They signed a card and put it on the altar and pledged to wait.
And wait they did.
And waited and waited and waited.
Some of them have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn’t shown up. They’ve heard the advice to “be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.” They’ve read “Lady in Waiting,” gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.
And still they wait.
More than a decade ago, a youth leader handed them a photocopied poem in Sunday School written to them from “God” that said, “The reason you don’t have anyone yet is because you’re not fully satisfied in Me. You have to be satisfied with Me and then when you least expect it, I’ll bring you the person I meant for you.”
And the girls see it posted on their bulletin boards from time to time.
“You’re right, God,” they say. “We’re not satisfied in you yet. We will put you first and then you can bring us a husband in your timing.”
But many of them – if they’re honest – will tell you that time has passed, and it’s wrecking their view of God.
If this is who God’s supposed to be, then He’s tragically late.
So some decide to chuck “Lady in Waiting” out the window … and possibly their virginity with it. Church goes next. God might go next, too. If He doesn’t answer these prayers after they’ve held up their end of the bargain, why would He answer any others?
Whether it was the fault of the leaders, the fault of us girls, or both, a tragedy happened back then.
A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior.
When Jesus was here on the earth, the crowds would follow Him because they saw He gave good things. But that’s not what He wanted. He wanted their hearts for Himself. So He would turn to them and say things like, “If you don’t love Me so much that every other relationship in your life looks like hate by comparison, you can’t follow Me.” (Matthew 10:34-39, paraphrase)
Christ is the source of everything we need and the giver of all good gifts … but in telling people about Him, it’s possible we’ve sold them on a solution for life’s problems and not life itself.
What if we as girls had learned early on that having Him was everything, not a means to the life we think He would want us to have.
If we had learned we don’t abstain from sex because we’re “waiting.” We abstain because we love Him.
If I’d had on my bulletin board, “Fall in love with Jesus.” That’s it. Bottom line. That’s everything you need to know, to work toward, to put your hope in.
If I’d learned who He is, what He wants, how to give Him everything, not “wait” so that one day I could give my everything to someone else.
If I’d learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory.
If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn’t compute. It doesn’t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.
It shows that while marriage is good, He is the greater goal.
I lived like I was waiting for something.
I just didn’t want to wait anymore – didn’t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here.
I already have Him … and He is everything."
“Follow Christ for His own sake, if you follow Him at all.” – J.C. Ryle
I read this recently and it was as if the writer had stepped inside my heart, seen the thoughts in my mind and written it all out for me. I look at the purity ring on my finger for 12 years now, and see it as a continual reminder of my fathers love to me...as it always brings back memories on a special night when I went with the only man in life...to pick out a beautiful ring, and with it feeling so loved, cherished and protected. Rather, It was some other points she had made that spoke to my heart because... I also have recently been pondering a lot about why I have done the things I have done, motives, whom have I been trying to please ( myself, The Lord or the future husband) and what is my true purpose for being on this earth. I've had to analyze why I have for SO long summed up the Lord's will for my future with definite words like, " When, Will." Its as if I have been deciding for my Soverign God what I believe His best Will for me would be. I refuse not to look at my life and choose to not see His blessings and obvious protection. Christ owes me nothing and I am saddened when I think of all the ways I have approached Him...with the air of feeling like i've earned anything.
I am choosing to live walking in the path that my God has graciously seen fit to place me on, and to obstain from sin because of Him, not because I am trying to obtain a state of godliness for the purpose of catching a great guy, but in striving to honor a Good God.
Yes though Even even here people have continued to be "Surprised" at my singlness and have felt compelled to remind me " He is surely coming or I really don't see you being single."
Realizations that have made me have some real heart to hearts with my Savior have been coming to the surface recently when hearing those sweet comments...and for that I am thankful. I have had to evaluate why in my own mind I have convinced myself that ..."Yes! Of course He is coming!" Ive come to realize that it is just a natural expectancy that tends to add natural pressures that create un bibilcal expectation. When it is seen as marriage being the ultimate gift of God or achievement as a woman, its shaken me up to meet so many God honoring, and God fearing women who prayed for a husband, but had the Lords loving answere be "No." Were they less favored? Less loved by the Lord? Not walking with Him enough?
I feel so passionately about wanting to change my own mindset and am thankful for this time here and for the Lord revealing these expectations and wrong motives of obtaining from Sin and seeking to do the right thing. I had placed on Him in reguards to what I thought I needed to be truly happy expectations that were centered on Me, and not Christ.
I heard a quoet that says
" Single and lonely is better than married and miserable. Don't date to fill insecurities, date to find a spouse on the same mission as you."
Well the state of being miserable begins when you are single, it is the absence of taking the trials and cares of life to Christ and harboring them all on your own. It is the not choosing to praise but choosing to pout. These habits that make for a miserable marriage are habits Im choosing to face in my own attitude NOW ( its no fun!!). While in the meantime, I am rejoiceing as well as humbledin this new understanding of...I am not waiting for anything, for I have been given it all already. Life eternal, forgiveness, redemption, and adeventures I never dreamed Christ my true Love would take me through...step by step, hand in hand with His ever Faithful ever Patient self.